(Originally posted Thursday, March 27, 2008 )
What are the top 10 reasons we can’t say ‘I love you’?
–*Because I’ve been in love before … and I couldn’t stand the p-a-a-a-in
–*It wouldn’t sound genuine when you have a knife at my throat
–*Because saying I love you is too easy. Showing you I love you through years of commitment is the harder part and. … OK, just kidding. Actually, my mouth is full.
–*Because you’re the tenth person I’ve said it to this week and it’s starting to sound a little trite
–*Because you supported the invasion of Iraq
–*Because you ordered the invasion of Iraq
–*Because saying it reveals me. It makes me vulnerable. Because it could give you too much strength to have that much power over my emotions.
–*Another way of saying that is that I enjoy the power it gives me not to say it. And if that sounds passive aggressive, well FU.
–*It seemed the wrong time since we were doing anal
–*Because I’m only in love with Chelsea Clinton. I’ll wait a thousand years for her if I have to.
Beauty is Imperfection 
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