(Originally posted Thursday, January 03, 2008 )
2 CBS
A WGA screenwriter in Buda, Texas walks alone holding a placard through the middle of town, across the street from the pie shop, in lieu of another “Without a Trace” repeat.
4 NBC
The “all cancer patient” version of “The Apprentice” (Repeat)
7 A&E
All our shows tonight will start with a decomposed body (Repeat)
9 Bravo
Brady Hunt (repeat)
10 VH-1
“Will It Blend?” and “America’s Next Top Model” Are Combined Into a Highly Satisfying Reality Series
11 Lifetime
Sad, mealy mouth female nerds honor all-powerful TV icon Xena, who unknowingly serves as an symbol of their inability to express themselves in day-to-day life
12 E! Entertainment Television
True Hollywood Story Investigates the Shattering Drama of Rock Stars with Crohn’s Disease and Psoriasis
13 History Channel
Anarchists, Communists and Terrorists Remembered For Their Scapegoating Usefulness As Our Celebration of Two Centuries of American Imperialism Continues
14 CNBC
In the midst of a discussion of the discount trade window, Jim Cramer goes on an extended digression about his sexual prowess, finally screaming “I could cock block half the men in this city from this tiny TV screen.”
15 Showtime
Passive-Aggressive Suicide Girls Versus Bipolar Suicide Girls Dance-Off
16 MTV
A stripper would really take this show to the next level.
17 HBO
Wait, is that … no, not “The Sopranos.” Damn.
18 Logo
Eddie Murphy explains gay sex in a compassionate and thoughtful lecture.
19 CMT
Trick My Planned Parenthood Clinic
20 Spike TV
Extreme Tattoo Removal
21 We
End That Awful Marriage, Now!
22 Disney Family
That Mother Fucking Cat
23 PBS
In a continuing series of educational specials, Sesame Street’s lovable Elmo explains in easy to understand language how to potty, tie your shoes, wash your hands, masturbate, kill your own meat, cut open somebody’s trachea, perform a foreign body retrieval, hotwire a car, cheat on your SAT, build a roadside plastic explosive with nails, sheet metal and other debris, engage in homosexual lovemaking, perform euthanasia on an ailing loved one, deliver a bloody foal, and escape to Cuba.
24 CNN
Extra Cute Mike Huckabee Wins the Highly Amusing Iowa Caucuses
Beauty is Imperfection 
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