Beauty is Imperfection

(Originally posted Friday, December 07, 2007)

Mathematical Paradoxes Discovered by Betrand Russell But Unpublished Until Now

–*A surprise party thrown for oneself is not a surprise party unless nobody shows up

–*A drunk cannot ever truly know he is a drunk until he his told by somebody, likely his wife, who he will then not believe

–*If a tree falls on an asshole in the forest, it is likely nobody will care

–*The existence of God can be proved ontologically by the idea that He is conceivable … or because your mother told you so.

–*None of the eight heads you stuffed in a duffel bag will fit the same way after you have successfully loaded them once.

–*Say we have a logical precept in set theory in which a woman says she only loves those men who are not in love her … yeah, that’s pretty much the way it works.

–*The Prisoner Paradox: A man set to be hanged at an uncertain point in the next five days will, because of logical deduction, in fact never be hanged … that is, not unless somebody with some guts takes the initiative.

–*Language is not something that is best understood by words themselves, which is evident to anyone who has listened to Roland Barthes go on and on and on.

–*Two groups working independently and achieving success will somehow see those successes turn to failure if the same two groups are combined. This is also known as democracy.

–*Infinity plus one is still equal to infinity, so fuck you and your “common sense.”