(Originally posted Tuesday, October 23, 2007)
Top 11 Reasons It Just Doesn’t Matter…
It just doesn’t matter because…
11. … because we’re in love.
10. … because I cheated on you, too.
9. … because you aren’t that good looking in the first place and one pimple more or less won’t change that undeniable fact.
8. … because that babysitter is dead now and can’t extort money from us ever again.
7. … because I don’t believe in your “law” anymore.
6. … because all the electro-shock in the world won’t make you not gay.
5. … because it’s just a goddamned TV show.
4. … because no matter how much liposuction you get, he’d still rather be with Uma Thurman.
3. … because you’re going to die anyway.
2. … because the tax man is just going to take it all.
1. … because even if there isn’t a nuclear holocaust, we’d be lucky to get through the huge coming oil drought anyway without enduring societal breakdown, horrible famine and eventually cannibalism.
Beauty is Imperfection 
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