(Originally posted Friday, October 26, 2007)
2 CBS
CSI Miami: David Caruso’s acting choices become very suspect
3 ABC
Women Detectives Telling Dick Jokes
4 NBC
Keeping Tom Selleck On Celebrity Welfare
5 Disney Movies
High School Musical: The Goths sing a thoroughly depressing number.
6 Disney
Hannah Montana: Hannah’s dual life is shattered when her good friend Kurt the grunge rocker ices himself.
7 Animal Planet
Extreme Meerkat Smackdown
10 ABC Family
One-third of Americans believe in ghosts and UFOs, and it’s probably because we’re helping keep them stupid with movies on this channel.
11 CNN
Anderson Cooper tries to stay above a story about Anna Nicole, but is simply sucked down into the shit and mud just like all his contemporaries
12 CMT
Please Help My Truck More Than Make Up For the Size of My Penis
12 CMT
Making 20 Panels of Particle Board Into a Home
13 Crosswalk Channel
Democracy Now: Trying, Convicting and Imprisoning Henry Kissinger, All In Our Imaginations
14 CNBC
Extremely Rich People Arguing About Things Totally Abstracted From Most People’s Daily Reality, Featuring Minutes and Minutes of Jim Cramer Sucking His Thumb
16 Comedy Central
Those Shows That Want To Be “South Park” and Can’t Be “South Park” Being Extremely Disgusting to Overcompensate For Not Being “South Park”
17 Court TV
To Catch A Dissenter
18 Fox News
Blood In The Face News
19 HBO
King Kong
20 VH-1 Classics
Keeping Wang Chung, Rush and Queensryche On Celebrity Welfare
21 Cinemax
Fourier-Analyzed Throbbings
22 History Channel
The Utah War: Hot Mormon Action
23 IFC
“Roadside Prophets” is shown, possibly because it is fire-resistant and can’t be burned
25 Lifetime
Lisa Williams: Life Among the Unimaginative
26 E! Entertainment
College Girls Without Moral Compass Go To Vegas with Snoop Dogg
27 Court TV
Forensic Files Goes To Vegas with Snoop Dogg
28 Nickelodeon
Avatar: The Last Airbender Goes To Vegas To Drink Himself To Death
40 Oxygen
The Orgasms of Madison County
Beauty is Imperfection 
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