I have recently been bombarded by advertising for the film The Twilight Saga: New Moon, the sequel to the 2008 blockbuster about teen vampires, Twilight. Because I’d never seen the original, I asked my 7-year-old niece Sophie to write her own movie review explaining to me why I should watch it. Here it is–the last word on the 2008 classic. (Warning: Spoilers ahead!)
Twilight is Scary
by Sophie Miller
Twilight is about a girl that falls in love with a vampire. She moves to a different state. I don’t know where she was before. It was kind of like a desert.
She moves to a really cool place. It has really tall trees there. She climbs the trees with her vampire. She’s on his back.
He was by her truck. A van came and almost squished her. But he squished the van out of the way. She knew he was a vampire because he did that.
They were eating lunch and she asked her friend, “What’s up with that guy?” He was just talking to his friends.
It was night. She was dreaming. She woke up. And she saw him there really quick. She saw him near her desk.
Towards the end, a bad vampire came and bit her. The good vampire sucked all the venom but he went too long and sucked her blood. She almost died. She went to the hospital and the bite was covered up with a bandage. She broke her leg. And everyone thought she fell down a staircase and went through a window.
She went to the prom with the vampire that almost killed her. I don’t know why she did that.
That’s it. That’s the end. She wanted to die and turn into a vampire. I don’t know why she wanted to turn into a vampire. She’s stupid. But she didn’t. She wanted her own boyfriend to do that. And then one of the bad vampires ran away.
Eric: So why is this a good movie, Sophie?
Because all the girls like it. It’s scary. The good vampire wins. That’s it. It’s a good movie.