(Originally posted Tuesday, March 03, 2009)
What are we posting on our Facebook status updates that are getting us fired?
–*Sally: I’m so bored at this job.
–*Jesse just took a box of paperclips.
–*Ralph plans to bang the new secretary.
–*Bernard is paying off old investors with new investors’ money.
–*Julie used to think that making erotic cakes would be endlessly fun, but like everything else it becomes tedious.
–*Judy just slept with her married boss Rick.
–*Rick is married but just slept with his underling Judy on his boss’s $495 Mid Century Modern gray tweed sofa, which isn’t anywhere near as easy to clean as the ads say.
–*Sarah is going to leave a typo in this memo to the head of financing as part of my small tendency toward Bakuninist-style anarchy and Situationist Internationale political gestures. Also I’m dyslexic.
–*Joey just left a pubic hair in every cake of soap on the third floor as part of a prank played on the guys in editorial.
–*Jason is going to interview no one and totally pull his latest New York Times story right out of his ass.
–*Governor Paterson is going to publicly embarrass Caroline Kennedy by calling her a liar and see my public approval rating dip to a nadir just to add to the mystique that I wield power badly.