–*Independent filmmaker Barbie with a can of the wrong ASA film to throw at your freakin’ head.
–*Ambulance-chasing personal injury lawyer Barbie
–*Barbie with septicemia from a hard-to-close wound
–*Video camera Barbie with a real camera stuffed in her decolletage, a doll that allows you to videotape yourself and allows your parents to spy on the baby sitter (she’s admissible in court!)
–*Expert witness against predators Barbie (she’s adorable in court!)
–*Bratz Barbies (she’s easy to pass off as a competing brand)
–*Licensing Barbie (making sure you’re not violating her intellectual property and trademarks)
–*Health care quality control specialist Barbie (making sure you’re out of the hospital in two days)
–*Medical lab tech Barbie (making sure the insurance companies are getting charged for unnecessary procedures)
–*Top 2% Barbie (she’s making 433 times more income than the lowest 50%)
–*Mullet and rat-tail Barbie. She doesn’t need money. She’s got love and smokes.