–*Busy mourning Farrah Fawcett.
–*Busy mourning Ed McMahon.
–*Going through Michael Jackson’s garbage.
–*Continuing your longstanding Courtney Love suicide vigil.
–*Visiting the petting zoo with your kids when you saw Abe Vigoda and stalked him around the yard until you thought he was going to run away.
–*Sending a death threat to one of the Jonas Brothers because you love them so much and can’t live without them.
–*Trying to get a look inside Michael Jackson’s house.
–*Trying to break into Michael Jackson’s house.
–*Trying to curl up in Michael Jackson’s house.
–*Giving Axl Rose special anal-tongue contact called the “Munich Police Force.”
–*Having a bowl of niacin and riboflavin enriched Wheaties.
–*Tracking blood through the snow to see dying Uncle Vanya in St. Petersburg
–*Trying to make some sense of my life and having it occur to me all of a sudden that Michael Jackson might have the answer.